Building Lasting Friendships: Social Skills for Individuals with Turner Syndrome and Nonverbal Learning Differences
by Becky Brown
Friendships play a vital role in our well-being, offering support, companionship, and joy. However, for individuals with Turner syndrome (TS) and Nonverbal Learning Differences (NVLD), socializing can sometimes feel challenging. Difficulties with reading nonverbal cues, understanding social norms, and navigating conversations may lead to misunderstandings or feelings of isolation. But the good news is that social skills can be learned and strengthened, leading to meaningful, lasting friendships.
Understanding the Social Challenges
People with TS and NVLD often experience:
Difficulty interpreting nonverbal cues (such as body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions).
Struggles with small talk and unspoken social rules (e.g., knowing when to join or leave a conversation).
Anxiety in social settings, leading to overthinking interactions.
A preference for structured or one-on-one interactions rather than large group settings.
Despite these challenges, individuals with TS and NVLD are often empathetic, kind, and eager to connect with others, they just need strategies to navigate social interactions more smoothly.
Strategies to Improve Social Skills and Build Friendships
1. Practice Active Listening
Being a good friend starts with being a great listener. Active listening helps strengthen connections and makes conversations feel more natural.
Maintain eye contact (if comfortable) to show engagement.
Nod or give small verbal acknowledgments (“That sounds great!” or “I see what you mean”).
Repeat or summarize what the other person said to show understanding (e.g., “So you had a great weekend at the beach? That sounds fun!”).
2. Learn to Read Social Cues
Nonverbal communication, such as facial expressions and body language, plays a major role in conversations. Some ways to improve:
Observe others in conversations (e.g., noticing when someone looks interested or when they want to change topics).
Use resources like books, videos, or social skills classes to better understand nonverbal cues.
Politely ask for clarification if you’re unsure (“Did I understand correctly that you’re feeling excited about your trip?”).
3. Develop Conversation Skills
Starting and maintaining conversations can be tricky, but a few key strategies can help:
Use the “FOR” method to ask about topics like Family, Occupation (or school), and Recreation (hobbies). Example:
o “Do you have any siblings?” (Family)
o “How do you like your job/class?” (Occupation)
o What’s your favorite thing to do on the weekends?” (Recreation)
Prepare a few go-to conversation starters for different situations (e.g., “Have you seen any good movies lately?”).
Look for shared interests to build a connection.
4. Manage Social Anxiety
Feeling nervous in social situations is normal, but too much anxiety can make interactions overwhelming. Try:
Deep breathing techniques before or during conversations.
Positive self-talk (e.g., “I am capable of making friends. I don’t have to be perfect.”).
Practicing conversations in low-pressure settings with trusted friends, family, or even in front of a mirror.
5. Find the Right Social Settings
Some environments may feel more comfortable than others. Consider:
Smaller gatherings rather than large, noisy events.
Clubs, hobby groups, or online communities (like the TSSUS Conference and local/online events) where you can meet people with shared interests.
Volunteering or joining support groups for structured social interactions.
6. Strengthen Existing Friendships
Friendships need regular effort to stay strong. Ways to maintain them include:
Checking in with friends via text or call.
Making plans and following through (even if it’s something simple like grabbing coffee).
Expressing appreciation (e.g., “I really enjoy spending time with you!”).
7. Be Kind to Yourself
Social skills take time to develop, and everyone makes mistakes along the way. If an interaction doesn’t go as planned, reflect on it, learn from it, and move forward. Self-compassion is key.
Final Thoughts
Building lasting friendships is possible with patience, practice, and persistence. By improving social skills, managing anxiety, and seeking meaningful connections, individuals with TS and NVLD can form deep and fulfilling relationships. Everyone deserves friendship, and with the right tools, those connections can thrive.
What social strategies have worked for you? Share your thoughts in the comments!
